2006-02-13 - 10:48 p.m.

In no particular order of importance�here are some things on this blogger�s tiny little mind. Care to add your two cents�??

THE SQUID & THE WHALE
In The Squid & The Whale (which I absolutely LOVED)�why did Billy Baldwin have a Rastafarian accent�e.g. �What�s up, my brother?� What was that all about? I found it really annoying�but then I find the fact that Billy Baldwin STILL gets movie roles annoying, too. The Park Slope vibe was perfect�all Saabs and Volvos and looking for parking�"I�m sure I lost my parking space, so we�re gonna have to drive around." Even the characters' NAMES were perfect: Joan and Bernard Berkman..!!

Random great quotes from the movie:
�No�I�m a philistine.�
�I�m moving into a grand house on the other side of the park�it�s the filet of the neighborhood.�

THAT MAN: PETER BERLIN
Because I�ll see almost anything that runs at Cinema Village on 12th Street, I found myself checking out this documentary about 1970's gay porn star Peter Berlin�who was a legend back in the day. It was utterly mesmerizing; hypnotic almost. The guy was gorgeous in that quintessential Aryan way�all blond and blue-eyed�and�OH MY GOD�that �package� was beyond belief. Really�words cannot express its size and perfection. Anyway, it was a fascinating look back at San Francisco�s demimonde and the role Berlin played in all of that�with his mysterious aura, his outrageous head-turning outfits and his iconic status as the poster child of�GAY!! Good quotes from Armistead Maupin and John Waters�and the best soundtrack song in forever��Captain Groovy and His Bubblegum Army.� Don�t be a sissy�check it out if it comes to your neighborhood art theater. It will definitely NOT be in a multi-plex anytime soon.

NEW BALDUCCI�S VS. OLD BALDUCCI�S�VS. CITARELLA�VS. WHOLE FOODS MARKET
Oh, the anticipation of the NEW Balducci�s opening up just across the street from my apartment in the West Village. I could hardly wait�because, well, it�s there�it�s back�it�s legendary..!! Anyway, a promotional mailing promised a free tote bag and three giant chocolate bars to first-week visitors, of which I was definitely one. The landmark building is spectacular�but, otherwise, the store is a big let-down. The prepared food section is a disappointing smorgasbord of flavorless, overpriced offerings, including bland pasta salads, undercooked salmon fillets, poorly-presented bloody meats and �nothing-ish� combos of, say, roasted yellow and red beets. I watched someone pay $1.89 for one single orange�and it wasn�t even a CaraCara or a Sicilian Blood Orange. The daily offering of six homemade soups featured FIVE variations of chili and one chicken soup last Thursday. What the fuck? The soups at Citarella and Whole Foods are much better�as are the breads, prepared salads and more. And at Whole Foods you also have all those irresistible organic beauty products. I just bought a hair spritz there called "Shine of the Times."

LUCILLE ROBERTS
I love going to the Lucille Roberts Gym because (1) only women are allowed and (2) despite my post-menopausal girth, I�m usually the thinnest person there. So far, I�ve tried the �Salsa-Robics� class, which just about killed this chica, and the �Butt & Gut� class, in which I lasted only 10 minutes�with both my butt AND my gut in complete agony. But the music is fun, the bikes and treadmills are brand new, and the elliptical machine just makes me laugh out loud. I feel like I'm doing a "camel walk."

COMPTON COINCIDENCE
Okay, so I met this guy on Match.com�who, it turns out, worked at Compton Advertising, my first job EVER...and the springboard to my spectacularly successful communications career. This dude worked on the Duncan Hines account (I kid you not)�from 1961-64. For all my Compton friends and acquaintances, this was before our time, kids�but, it turns out this guy did know Duane Ragsdale and John Cross and John Anderson and Jim Killough and Ann Wasserman, etc. Small world, eh? He then went to work at Grey for 22 years�and today he�s a marketing consultant (who cares?). Also...it turns out his daughter is a fashion market editor at a New York weekly, whom I've worked with. FYI...my drinks (make that DRINK) date with him at Cafe Loup was totally lame�and not worth going into. The whole thing was over in just 40 minutes. My mascara didn't even have time to dry...!!!

ADDICTIVE MOVIES
I know you all have them�so admit it..!! I�m talking about those movies that you watch over and over again�even though you�ve seen them a million times�and you know they�re super gay (no, not homosexual, I mean lame�get it). Well, here�s my list�and I�m not ashamed to admit it: Love Actually, Father of the Bride I & II, You�ve Got Mail, Something�s Gotta Give and As Good As It Gets. Now, let�s have YOUR list. C�mon�you know you love Zoolander.

GOOD-BYE SHELLEY WINTERS�!!!
How great was Shelley Winters?? Whether she played a slut single mother (Patch of Blue), a Holocaust victim (Diary of Anne Frank), an overweight former swimming champion on a cruise ship (Poseidon Adventure) or Roseanne�s GRANDMOTHER on the Roseanne show�she totally nailed it. She had care-free sex with every Hollywood hunk of the 1940�s, 50�s, 60�s and 70s�she was the perfect talk-show guest�and just an all-around great broad. Gotta love her. And her daughter�s a doctor, no less..!!!

OKAY�I CAN�T MAKE COFFEE
This is absolutely ridiculous. I can�t make a decent cup of coffee. I just can�t get it right�even when I buy Illy coffee, which I LOVE. My friend Hoffmann swears by the French press, which I suppose I�ll have to try. I use the typical Melita drip pot, with more coffee, less coffee, different coffee combos, adding cinnamon, etc. Still�my coffee SUCKS. Any tips would be appreciated. Thank God, I love tea.

JAMES BLUNT
Who thinks James Blunt is the next Neil Young? I kept reading that, so I bought his new CD�Back to Bedlam, which ended up including that fag-pop song, You�re Beautiful (It�s True). I think I�ll stick to the OLD Neil Young�and pick up his newest, Prairie Wind. Has anybody heard that yet? Opinions?

TWO STRONG WOMEN
Ann Sheehan sent a sweet e-mail to some women friends about the passing of Wendy Wasserstein and Coretta Scott King�to which I replied:

I share your feelings, Ann�and Wendy Wasserstein hit especially hard. She was such a voice for intelligent New York women searching for truth and love and the balance between independence and the human need to connect...while never losing sight of the humorous aspects of it all. When you watched her plays...it helped you to know you weren't alone with your meshugas. She was so brilliant and funny�and she leaves her adorable little daughter Lucy Jane. So sad.

And Coretta Scott King was beautifully brave and full of grace and dignity. Her will to live was so strong that, sadly, she ended up dying in a weird Mexican alternative medicine clinic. That was the oddest note in this scenario. Given her religious convictions...I would have thought she'd leave her time to die "in God's hands." In the end...we all want to LIVE...!!!

CHENEY SHOOTS FRIEND IN FACE DURING QUAIL-HUNTING ACCIDENT
Discuss..!! Then laugh your ass off.

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