2005-06-21 - 10:51 p.m.

I know it’s hard to believe…but women can be crazy, too…sometimes. A male friend of mine recently had a Match.com blind date with a woman…let’s call her E. They met at his favorite new dating destination…the Art Bar in Greenwich Village. Having screened her profile, I mentioned to my friend that E. sounded like a bit of a “desperado”…you know, those women just past 40 who suddenly realize that their lives are meaningless…and childless. The profile spoke about “marriage not being a priority” for her, about her “not being interested in intimacy until I’m sure we’re on the same page”…but wanting to have a baby “sooner than later.” I told my friend that she sounded sorta crazy to me…and that I thought she should go to a sperm bank…not on a date. Oh yeah…and twice she mentioned that she liked to “talk about ideas,” and I wondered how she felt about notions, concepts or inklings, but I digress. She also hated cologne (that was the most useful thing in her profile), and since my friend wouldn’t wear cologne even if he was forced to spend the night in a garbage dump at gun point, they agreed to meet.

Anyway, they met for drinks on Saturday night at 8, which I always think is an awkward time for a drinks date…b/c it’s actually dinner time. Does it mean that the guy presumes you’ll eat dinner before hand? Is he too cheap to suggest dinner? Then again, blind date dinners are risky b/c your date could turn out to be really boring after one drink…and then you’re stuck with them for an hour-and-a-half. God forbid they order an appetizer and dessert…and you could be trapped for over two hours. On the other hand, if you meet for drinks at 6:30 or 7 p.m., and the person turns out to be fun and engaging, then the option for dinner at 8 or 8:30 is still viable. Does this make sense?

Well, for my friend and E., things were weird right from the get go. She mentioned that she was a freelance designer of some kind, that both her parents had been psychiatrists, that she grew up in Manhattan, and that when her parents died, they left her an enormous three-bedroom apartment on Central Park West. She also told him that she desperately wanted a baby…RIGHT AWAY…and if he wasn’t into that, there was no point in continuing the date. She mentioned that she was actually trying to have a baby with another Match.com candidate (or two), but there were “complications.” Really?

So after about a half-hour of weirdness, E. goes to the ladies’ room. When she emerges five minutes later, she says she has to leave “right now,” turns on her stilettos, and walks out the door…leaving my friend with the check…and a “what the fuck” expression on his face. He paid up…and was back in his apartment by 9 p.m…just one hour later, just one more Manhattan nut case.

Given my recent experiences in dating hell, I have to admit it was damn encouraging to know that men don’t ALWAYS have it made in the shade. And in the end, my friend and I have lots of laughs and another great story to share over bowls of Japanese noodle soup.


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